Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
