so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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