she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
