My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize