Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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