I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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