Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
