i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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