She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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