I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just found a bag of teeth...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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