I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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