he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
