Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
