I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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