I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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