look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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