We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm experimenting with sincerity
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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