...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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