Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
