Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
