He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
