how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
