yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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