in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
FUCK WHALES
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