My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
