i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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