How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
