Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I bet he comes in French.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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