Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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