While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
