yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I am mentally ready for anal.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
