Kiss
Puke
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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