ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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