i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
