Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
