it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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