The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
