After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
