omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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