Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
