addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
