I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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