he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
