You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
