I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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