Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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