Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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