Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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