I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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