The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
