If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize