I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
