Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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