Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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