im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
