How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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