Its about making memories worth repressing
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
