OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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