Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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