I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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