Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
