I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
