can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
tell me about the fingering
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
