Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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