it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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