And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
