I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you guys were way drunker than both of me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
