Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
