There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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