Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
