I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
