All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
